You can't special order awesome
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
