so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
