I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
