So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
