dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
