I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
