he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
