people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
