Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I think people are normalizing furries
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
