We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Is it because I queefed?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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