before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize