dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
