Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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