i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
