drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize