He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
