so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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