it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
