is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
