Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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