your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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