At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
