They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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