she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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