We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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