Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
