i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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