I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
