i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
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