It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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