You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
