drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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