What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
