Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize