I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
why do cheetos always look like penises
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Randomize
