go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
