life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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