just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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