so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
