you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
