super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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