i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
