im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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