He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
