Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize