Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
