Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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