what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Randomize
