So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
