I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm always down for nudity.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
