remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
