I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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