Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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