Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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