You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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