Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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