Im at strip club and am horny
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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